Can I ask, why?

Learn from your past, do not regret it; do what makes you happy today; plan your future - Thoughts. Many philosophers, teachers, counselors and even many parents teach these ‘important rules’ of life. In the era of this techno-freak and socio-freak world these important rules are also seen on social networking sites as posts of people or pages followed.

But, thoughts are always far from reality. A bridge has to be made to link both – again a thought. When it comes to put them in practical life, it becomes difficult. Difficulties move a level up for girls who belong to middle class Indian families, families which are stuck between traditions and western culture. It becomes very difficult to be modern and at the same time not hurting traditional sentiment of parents.

I was born and brought up in capital of India. Life for girls, for me in the society I live in, meant to do your schooling then complete your graduation or any further studies you wish to do but get married by the age of 25 years and after that, if, in-laws do not mind you can continue with your education and job. Life with such set of rules become meaningless. Why is it so compulsory to get married by 25 years when all she want to do is to study and be successful in her live? And why does nobody see if she is happy? Question any number of people about her happiness; answer will be same ‘Oh! Look at her, do not you see her smile… she looks so happy’. And from here, definition of happiness change for her.

What exactly happiness is? Psychologists may define it many ways but in simple words, is it not something you get when your dreams come true? Dreams are not always suppose to be big. Little dreams or little moments of life also give happiness, do not they?

People say; professionally opt for the field which you love so that you do not have to work any day of your life because you will do what makes you happy. My cousin found happiness in dance but she was not allowed to do it. It was not like that her parents were against it but they did not find any benefit of dancing in her life. They believed that one day she has to get married and for that she has to complete her education as soon as possible, dancing will take all the time she could spend on her studies. They assumed she will be happy after settling down. She is happy but she was not able to fulfill her dream which somewhere deep inside her heart makes her sad.

My parents, my relatives always tell me to plan my future, to decide what I want to do, what I want to achieve. I said I want to be a teacher. Response from everybody was different. Few said it’s a good job, you have to work for half-day, you will be back to home before dark and most of the colleagues will be females. I really doubt if this was an appreciation. Why am I suppose to get back home before dark? Why cannot I stay out late? Why cannot I work with male colleagues? I was discouraged already! And then discouragement went like: it’s a great responsibility to handle children, you have to deal with parents and they do not pay well. I wonder if there is any type of job having no or less responsibility. Is there any work where you are not answerable to someone?

Later, I said I want to go in the field of mass communications. Again, discouragement was hidden behind appreciation. Why was I discouraged every time I had a plan for my future? Is it because I am a girl? My brothers were never stopped like this. Why me? If we girls are not suppose to get any encouragement in any type of decisions we make, then why they say to plan future?

Why they talk about thoughts when they are so meaningless for our lives? Why they talk about damn equality when we are not suppose to attend late night parties; when we are asked to take admission in girls college; when we are not suppose to be ‘just friends’ with boys; when we get a scolding if we are not able to cook nicely. I doubt if they really understand the meaning of ‘equality’.

We just want to live like our brothers live, with no restrictions. But why cannot we? WHY?